The aversion to conducting performance evaluations and the lack of giving/receiving regular feedback have been topics of several recent conversations. And honestly, over the course of 30 years in various professional jobs, I can honestly say I only recall having two meaningful evaluations and follow-up conversations with my supervisor. I worked for one organization for over nine years and never had one at all!
Why do most people want to avoid giving feedback, whether informal or formal? When you hear the word feedback, what is your initial reaction? Does it evoke negative emotions, or maybe even physical responses? If so, you are not alone.
Somewhere along the way, “feedback” has come to be experienced as a synonym for criticism—and not the constructive kind. As a result, many of us have become averse to feedback conversations of any kind. Whether it’s giving it as a supervisor or receiving it as an employee, there is often a level of anxiety associated with these situations.
How unfortunate! Feedback is arguably as essential to human beings as oxygen, food and water. You are a feedback-driven entity, my friend. Everything you are and do is driven by feedback, whether consciously or unconsciously. Taking in, processing and responding to feedback shapes you in every way, every day.
Feedback is how we get and keep our bearings when we go about our day. We respond to situations to try to improve the outcome. Stuck in traffic? You evaluate your options, and maybe take the next off-ramp to find a better route. So how can we keep our bearings and try to respond effectively and improve outcomes in the workplace if that culture is feedback-averse? Short answer: we can’t.
Feedback is meant to be helpful. Even if it centers around a situation that didn’t go well, the feedback is supposed to be aimed at improving the next go-round.
Food for thought: If you have become averse to feedback-related conversations, whether as the giver or receiver, take some time to reflect on why that is. How can you approach it differently going forward? Here are some tips, from both perspectives:
Giving effective feedback:
- Be timely – do not hold onto feedback that could be useful now
- Be specific – general comments, whether praising or constructive critiques, will not provide the receiver with actionable information.
- Start with the positive – people are much more receptive to what may need improvement if they hear some positive feedback first.
- Be consistent – set up a regular 1:1 meeting with those you supervise and lead, to inform each other, provide AND receive feedback.
- Avoid making it personal – discuss the situation, tactics, outcomes, etc. without the verbal finger-pointing “you”.
Receiving feedback:
- Consider feedback as an opportunity to learn – about both the person giving the feedback and your organization. Feedback can give insight into the priorities and priorities of both, to inform you moving forward.
- Remember that this is not personal –maybe some decisions or approaches were, in hindsight, not the way to get to the desired outcome. Feedback, even if the giver is not articulating it well, is not attached to, or reflective of, your value.
- Seek clarification – if the feedback is not clear or specific enough for you to leave the room knowing what and/or how you may need to adjust, ask questions.